


Avoidence

by Sumi



Series: going through the motions [7]
Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27069433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sumi/pseuds/Sumi
Summary: Ellie has never had a good track record with birthdays.
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us)
Series: going through the motions [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975618
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28
Collections: Fic In A Box





	Avoidence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheseusInTheMaze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/gifts).



Ellie never saw the point of birthdays. Back before the outbreak they probably were a good idea, but she saw no fucking reason in celebrating another year of being alive in this Crapshoot of a world. She refused to think differently, but then Riley happened.

On Ellie’s fourteenth birthday, it was like any other day until Riley showed up outside her window, that mischievous look in her eye. Ellie was ready to go within a minute. They snuck into this old comic book shop Riley had discovered earlier that week. There Ellie found an entire comic book series.

It proved to be her most memorable birthday until Joel got her a fucking dinosaur for her birthday. The recording of an actual spaceship launch just made it even more outstanding. She expressed her thanks as often as she could because no one had cared to do that much for her in a long time. Not since Riley.

For her sixteenth birthday, Joel got a brand new guitar. Her previous one had finally died. It was on its last leg by the time she got it so it was no surprise the thing gave out. Ellie was grateful it lasted as long as it did.

Ellie had gotten pretty good at playing the guitar since Joel started teaching her to play. She had spent hours upon hours practicing, wanting to show Joel how much she had improved because of his lessons. Also, it was a pretty outstanding looking guitar. It was lucky to have survived the outbreak and still be in such decent condition.

When Joel gave it to her, she almost didn’t want to touch it. The guitar looked practically brand new, and Ellie was afraid of breaking it. It was a silly fear, but she was grateful for the gift.

Even after Ellie distanced herself from Joel, he still got her something for every birthday. It left Ellie with a bittersweet feeling. She thought about throwing the gifts away but kept them. While Joel had lied to her, Ellie couldn’t ignore the fact that he meant a lot to her and always would.

She was always under the assumption that she would reconcile with Joel one day. Ellie didn’t know when that would be because his betrayal had hurt more than anything she’d experienced in her life. Still, Ellie never considered their falling out would last forever. It was just a matter of when Ellie felt comfortable enough to let Joel back into her life.

Then fucking Abby happened, taking away her chance to restart her relationship with Joel. For a while, birthdays became something Ellie desperately wanted to avoid. Dina tried to make them special, and she appreciated it, but Joel’s memory always seemed to lurk nearby.

Despite Ellie’s sudden disdain for birthdays, she was more than thrilled to celebrate JJ’s. He deserved to have both of his mom’s there for his first celebration. In the weeks leading to it, Dina seemed hesitant to even bring it up for fear of hurting Ellie, which wasn’t fair to JJ or Dina.

“So your okay with this babe?” Dina asked the day before. “And don’t try to lie to me. I know when your lying.”

Ellie smirked. “Do you know?”

“Oh, I am very fluent in Ellie.”

The teasing smile on Dina’s face made Ellie’s heart flutter. She pulled Dina in for a kiss, ready to take it further when JJ decided now was the time he wanted to wake up from his nap. It made Ellie laugh.

“Can I get him?” Ellie asked, which wasn’t a necessary question.

Dina had no problem with Ellie getting JJ. Whenever the two of them were together, Dina would get this soft smile on her face. It made Ellie grateful she never considered doing what Tommy wanted.

Going after Abby would’ve done nothing except further continue this fucked-up cycle of revenge. It hadn’t worked the first time, and there was no reason to think it would work a second. Ellie wanted Abby to pay for what she did to Joel, but it wasn’t worth the risk of losing her family. If anyone would have understood that, it would be Joel.

Once Ellie approached JJ, she knew what he needed. Her nose wrinkled as she picked up the kid, who looked at Ellie with an almost offended looking expression. It was enough to send both Ellie and Dina into a fit of laughs.

The next day was a difficult one for Ellie, but also a memorable one. She loved seeing the smiles on JJ’s face and him babbling happily as they celebrated his birthday.

It was a small, quiet affair. Dina had made a cake and Ellie had decorated the living room with some of her drawings. JJ didn’t seem very interested in the drawings but loved getting his little hands into the cake and shoving some in his mouth.

“Can’t blame the kid for loving his cake.” Dina sounded like she was seconds from breaking out into a loud fit of laughter.

Ellie lost it. She doubled over, body shaking from the efforts to contain her amusement. “He looks like he’s inhaling it, Dee.”

Then a cake fight broke out between all of them. The result was Ellie and Dina having to clean it off themselves, JJ, and the floor. Still worth it in Ellie’s mind.

She started doing better after that. However, the closer Ellie got to her twenty-first birthday, the more panicked she felt. It was frustrating because she thought she was past that anxiety. All Ellie wanted was to enjoy the day and not have flashbacks of Joel’s body lying motionless on that basement floor.

It seemed like Dina wanted to broach the subject as she had with JJ’s birthday, but there was a lack of confidence about her birthday. Ellie hated that she brought that out in Dina. A normal family should be able to celebrate something as benign as a birthday, but Ellie couldn’t even manage that.

They didn’t talk about it, or at least Ellie tried not to. Anytime it seemed like Dina was close to bringing it up, she tried to find a way out of the discussion. Immature, yes, but it was effective for Ellie.

However, Ellie finally forced herself to confront those questions from Dina that she had been avoiding thinking about, let alone answering. She posed the question while they were in bed. Ellie lulled herself into a calming state so she wasn’t expecting it, which was probably the point.

“Babe, we need to talk,” Dina murmured against her neck.

Ellie shifted in Dina’s embrace to look at her. “Do we have to, Dee? I kind of want this moment to last.”

She flashed her a smile. “We’ll have another moment, El. I’m not going anywhere, but we need to talk.”

The surrounding air seemed to thicken. Ellie felt like she was having trouble breathing, eventually being forced to roll away from Dina and sit up in bed to catch her breath. She sat there until it felt like she could breathe with no trouble.

Dina moved, so she was sitting directly behind Ellie. She wrapped a hand around her chest, resting her chin on Ellie’s shoulder. It was a comforting embrace that brought Ellie back to that comfortable feeling.

“You good?” Dina asked softly.

Ellie nodded. “Yeah, as good as I’ll ever be,” she muttered, shifting, so she was facing Dina. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I was wondering if we could do something for your birthday at the end of the month. It is your twenty-first. Aren’t we supposed to celebrate that milestone birthday?”

She snorted. “Can you believe that people had to wait until they were twenty-one to drink but could join the fucking military at eighteen? I honestly thought Joel was shitting me when he told me that.”

Dina laughed. “Guess the world was fucked up long before Cordyceps came around.”

All the memories Ellie had of Joel telling her stories of how the world was before the outbreak were ones she thought of fondly. Ellie was glad to think about Joel and for once not have her memories immediately drift to that day.

“It’s almost a fucking relief.”

A silence fell around them until Dina gave Ellie a playful but firm nudge. “So would you be cool if we do something small for your birthday? And by small, I mean fucking tiny. Miniscule even.”

“... yeah, I think I can do a minuscule celebration.”

Ellie figured it was a small step in the right direction.


End file.
